Humans of NY “Nobody knows.  I work on a hemp farm in Colorado, and I haven’t...

“Nobody knows.  I work on a hemp farm in Colorado, and I haven’t told anyone.  I probably wouldn’t even have gotten the job if people knew.  I used to lie about it, but that didn’t feel good.  So I just stopped telling people.  Whenever someone asks my age, I’ll just say: ‘I don’t tell people that.’  When people know you’re a ‘kid,’ they look down on you.  And I hate it.  Because really, it’s nothing.  Age is nothing.  All it means is that I was born seventeen years ago.  But whenever someone learns my age, they immediately think of themselves at seventeen.  And that’s how they see me.  They assume that I haven’t experienced what they didn’t experience.  And that I don’t know what they didn’t know.  So I just don’t tell anyone.  I don’t give people that frame of reference.”

#humansofnewyork #hony #ny #ньюйорк #nyc #newyork #english #люди #истории ]]>
Tue, 18 Feb 2020 21:35:02 +0000
“She left me fifteen years ago and took the kids back to Puerto...

“She left me fifteen years ago and took the kids back to Puerto Rico.  I barely talk to them anymore.  I stay at home and I be by myself.  When I get home and open that door everything is dark.  I try to play psychology with myself.  I’ll watch a good movie, or read the Bible, or take two pills and go to sleep early.  But it’s not working.  It’s not reality.  Reality, the reality is, I’m alone.  I need somebody, you know.  Somebody physically with me.  I need my family with me.  Whatever I did, I apologize.  For not listening.  For not taking her seriously.  She’d tell me: I don’t mind if you party some, but you need to pay attention to your family.  And I’d do it for awhile but then I’d forget.  I don’t know why, I was young.  I was bored.  I felt like I was trapped.  But now that I’m this age, I understand.  Those were the best days of my life.  Now I wish I had somebody to take care of.  The way I used to before– back in the nineties: two jobs, nice apartment, buying them everything.  Christmas, holidays.  I want to go to bed with my wife, with the kids in the other room, and tomorrow we go to work.  That’s it.  Normal.  I just want normal.“

#humansofnewyork #hony #ny #ньюйорк #nyc #newyork #english #люди #истории ]]>
Sun, 16 Feb 2020 17:29:03 +0000
“We made a table in art class for our dog Slush.  The table is...

“We made a table in art class for our dog Slush.  The table is recyclable art.  'Recyclable’ means it has something to do with trash.  And Slush isn’t a real dog.  He’s a stuffed animal.  Mom says we can’t get a real dog because it poops and our apartment is too small.  We told her that we could get a puppy, and just not feed it, so that it will stay a baby forever.  But she still said ‘no.’”

#humansofnewyork #hony #ny #ньюйорк #nyc #newyork #english #люди #истории ]]>
Sun, 16 Feb 2020 13:22:09 +0000
(11/11)  “I got to work.  I wrote letters to the governor.  I...

(11/11)  “I got to work.  I wrote letters to the governor.  I wrote letters to Obama.  I gathered testimonials from everyone that Bobby ever knew: all the kids he used to coach, all the people at our church, all of our family members.  I testified on his behalf.  I didn’t know a thing about Walter Miller.  But I told them all about Bobby Love.  And the parole board took mercy.  After a year in prison, they let him come home.  The day after he was set free, I sat him down and asked:  ‘What is it?  Are we the Loves?  Or are we the Millers?’  And he said: ‘We Love.  We Love.’  So I had him change his name legally.  And now we’re moving on.  I still have my resentments.  When we get in a fight, I’ll think: ‘This man better appreciate that I forgave him.’  But the thing is, I did forgive him.  And when I made that decision, I had to accept all the territory that came with it.  I can’t make him feel that debt every day of his life.  Because that’s not the marriage I want to be in.  The whole world knows now.  We’ve got no secrets.   But I think this whole mess was for the better of things: better for me, better for the kids, and better for Bobby.  He doesn’t have to hide anymore.  He can look at me when I’m speaking.  Not only that, he’s hearing me too.  My voice is heard.  I used to walk on eggshells.  I used to just go along.  But I told him one thing.  I said: ‘Bobby, I’ll take you back.  But I’m not taking a backseat to you no more.’  Because I got my own story to tell.  I can write a book too.  I might not have escaped from prison, and started a whole new life, and hid it from my family.  But I forgave the man who did.”

#humansofnewyork #hony #ny #ньюйорк #nyc #newyork #english #люди #истории ]]>
Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:26:49 +0000
(10/11)  “My world came crashing down.  Bobby’s arrest was all...

(10/11)  “My world came crashing down.  Bobby’s arrest was all over the papers.  It seemed like the whole city was laughing at me.  People at church would pull me aside, and whisper: ‘You knew about this right?  You had to know.’  But I never knew.  Forty years of marriage, four grown children, and I never knew.  How could I be so stupid?  I wanted to hide.  I wanted to disappear.  When I went to work that first day, everyone was gathered around the front desk.  And they got real quiet when I walked in.  But I told them: ‘Don’t just stand there.  I need some love.  Give me some hugs.’  Of course I was embarrassed, but I was more hurt than anything.  Bobby had deceived me for all those years.  There was no truth in our house.  I’m walking past this man every single day.  We laughing.  We joking.  And he’s not telling me anything?  I was so angry.  But I never hated him.  I wanted to comfort him.  I wanted to hold his hand.  I told Bobby later, ‘That’s how I knew I loved you.  Because even in the worst of it, I was thinking about you.’  When I first visited him in prison, he broke down crying.  His head was in his hands, and he told me: ‘I know, you’re going to leave me.’  I told him: ‘No Bobby Love, I married you for better or for worse.  And right now this is the worst.’”

#humansofnewyork #hony #ny #ньюйорк #nyc #newyork #english #люди #истории ]]>
Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:18:51 +0000
(9/11)  “There was a piece missing.  All these years I loved my...

(9/11)  “There was a piece missing.  All these years I loved my husband.  And he loved me, but something was missing.   First, he never liked to be in photographs.  And he always thought people were watching him.  But I just thought it was vanity.  I kept saying: ‘C’mon, Bobby.  You aren’t that exclusive.’  But then there was the deeper stuff.  We had some beautiful love making.  But other than that, there wasn’t much affection.  Not many hugs.  Not much cuddling.  Not much communication.  I could only get so close and he’d shut down.  Sometimes, when we were arguing, I’d be pouring myself out to him.  And he’d just sit there with a scowl on his face.  I thought it was me.  I kept thinking: ‘Maybe he doesn’t want to be here.’  But Bobby was a provider.  He was always working two or three jobs.  He’d cook, and do laundry, and spend time with the kids.  I thought to myself: ‘Everyone is different.  People have different upbringings.  This might be how Bobby shows love.’  But it was hard.  It wore me down.  I cried so many tears about it.  I remember during Christmas of 2014, I was on my knees in church, saying:  ‘Lord, please, I can’t do this anymore.’  I begged God to change my husband’s heart.  I’d reached the end of my rope.  That was a few weeks before everything went down.“

#humansofnewyork #hony #ny #ньюйорк #nyc #newyork #english #люди #истории ]]>
Fri, 07 Feb 2020 00:11:47 +0000